Week in Review

So this week I decided to write about my week. It is now the weekend and thought I would share the events that has occured with all of you. First of all, I would like to announce that I am the new Vice President of next year's Junior Class. All is good. I have been urged by my main man Ian to build a missle defense system but he's out of his mind so I'll focus on the task at hand, which is to raise money so our school doesn't wind up having prom in our damn gym. At the rate we are goin now, that is the best we can do. Anyways, back to some other stuff. I was out drainin' threes the other day when my brother walked up to me. He says, "Hey, I bet you can't make a nothin but net shot while ridin the skateboard down the driveway." I thought this to be an easy task, so we shook on it. A bet for five bucks. He already owed me five dollars cause he bet against the Giants in the Superbowl(what a jackass). Anywho, I was cruisin down the driveway, alert of everything in front of me. The only thing close to me was my dad's truck which was still a whiles away, past the basketball net. This is the moment where i decided to focus my attention on the b-ball net. This was the moment of truth: the day where my life would finally become complete as I made this shot. It would put all the doubters to rest(mainly because I can never seem to throw a crumpled piece of paper into the garbage in bio class). I was right there, about to shoot, when all of a sudden BAM! I flew forward, off the skateboard and into the ground. Turns out, there was a small rock there. I walked away with only a bruise and a slightly messed up arm. All is well now. A few days later, my brother refused to clean up the bathroom even though I do it every week. I became mad. I went outside and saw my dad cutting down a tree. I walked up to him and he asked me if I wanted to help him. I said sure and went and got an axe, instead of the chainsaw he was using. I was quite angry and decided to realease my anger by cuttin' up some firewood for next winter. It was a very good way to take out some anger, while at the same time making firewood! How brilliant...But yeah. And I didn't even have to give him money cause he forgot. He was too busy laughing at me while I was on the ground. How nice..

Vendetta against Pacino

Hey again. I just don't think I can write about what I said I would in my last blog. Too many painful memories..

Anyways, I will tell you about the tension between myself and Mr. Al Pacino. You see, back in the late 1960s, Al and myself were like bffs. We were both young and promising actors who needed one breakout role to make our careers. We both had read Mario Puzo's, "The Godfather", and when we heard that it was going to be made into a movie, we both called our agents and arranged auditions for some parts. I was to go out for the part of Michael Corleone, while he was to go out for the part of his brother, Sonny. They told Al that they didn't think he was right for the part of Sonny. The producers then told me that I had made the final cut and that I would begin filming in two weeks. They even made a promotional poster and released it in countries like Thailand and China. On the first day of filming, I arrived at the studio where I saw my bff Al in makeup. I wondered what was going on, and decided to ask him. He told me they decided to offer him a part in the film after all. I was happy for him, especially since we would be working together. A minute or so later, the director BDP (brian depalma..bdp is the fly nickname I gave him) pulled me aside and told me they decided to go another direction with the part of Michael Coreleone!! Can you believe that? First the Beatles and now The Godfather. Life just wasn't treating me fair in the late 1960's and early 1970's. I became enraged when I watched the movie and saw Al playing my part! I was like oh no nut uh no he didn't. I wish they had a show like the Maury Povich Show or Montel so I could take him on there. There wasn't, so I didn't talk to him for years. I stayed out of the film industry until I heard of the idea for another BDP film, "Scarface". The script was amazing and he personally wanted me to do the film. Brian even took it upon himself to make a promotional poster for that movie as well. However, the movie's producers took that idea and decided to put GUESS WHO ON THE POSTER...AL FREAKIN PACINO! Now this guy was just starting to tick me off. Some friend eh? Anyways, I decided to call it quits in the movie business. I did however make an appearance in George of the Jungle with Brendan Frasier as one of his monkey friends. That was fun, and I was even cast into a role in the Tom Hanks movie, "Cast Away". Originally, it was just Tom and myself on the island, along with Wilson the volleyball. My part however was eventually cut. I now realize that my career in film, has gone kaputt.

Heralded Hero

Hey it's me again. I thought that I would write about the time in which I discovered a cure for....aids. That's right, I did. Anyways, I was just messin around in my kitchen one day, you know...making some french toast and eggs for breakfast when they somehow got mixed together. The end result you may wonder was none other than the cure for aids. I sent the antitote to my science teacher who sent it somewhere important..where exactly, I am not sure. Anywho, after the news became public, I received worldwide popularity. This was the first time I felt that I belonged since my time with George, John, and Ringo. I made appearances on every talk show you can think of....Jay Leno, David Letterman, Larry King Live, Montel, Oprah, and even the Maury Povich Show(my fav). It really was great. Even President Bush requested a meeting with me to thank me for my accomplishment! Meanwhile, the scientists did not bother to test the antitote on a lot of people and did not wait for any side effects to appear. The side effects turned out to be quite "fatal" as the town I lived in was quarantined. I however stayed behind with my dog, Hooch, to try to find a vaccine to cure what I had caused. My next blog will describe what exactly happened...

Good Times with the Beatles

Hello everyone! Just to give everyone a heads up as to what this whole blog is about, I am going to post a picture every week of me and where I've been in my past. There are some pretty interesting ones that might even blow you away. This right here is my first blog. Soooo the year was 1968 and I was walking down the streets of New York City when a car stopped right next to me. Three men jumped out and threw me in the car with them and sped off. I was completely unaware of what was going to happen; I even thought that they might hurt me. However, I realized that the three men were John Lennon, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr of the BEATLES!! I could not believe who I was with. They told me that Paul stormed out on a recording session a month ago and he hasn't returned any of their phone calls. They decided that they needed a replacement band mate. So, they saw me on the streets and thought that I fit the part quite well. So we went back to the studio and had a good time. They even had me sing a few songs with them. After the singing was done, they decided to take a group photo, which is pictured in this blog. We spent about two weeks together, just jammin out to music and whatnot. When I walked into the studio one day, I saw that John, George, and Ringo were talking to Paul. I did not know what was happening. My man Ringo then told me that Paul was returning to the band, and that they no longer needed me. I since quit my musical career and have not spoken to any of them since. But just to clear things up....John wasn't the walrus. Neither was Paul. I am the walrus.